August 19, 2021

I was always waiting

For someone to take me

to this specific beach

Something about the empty stretches

Of churning waves shaping dunes

And no hotels hovering

Just settles my soul

Or maybe I was hoping

For the invitation

To join some group at a big house

Full of laughter and long tables

Piles of towels and years of stories

That never came

So I’m bringing myself

to all the spaces

I wanted to be asked into

I’m not waiting

for an invitation

to live into the wonder

Of my own life

I’ve heard

The drive is too long

The rooms too expensive

The time isn’t right

There isn’t enough money

There isn’t enough

There will never be enough

But I’m not asking anymore

I’m steering and I’ll stop

At as many lighthouses

And random views

And kitschy shops I choose

Tell my children to take this in

They think I mean the scenery the smell the way the light dances on the water through the marsh grass

I mean the feeling

Of standing

On the shore

Of your desire

As it washes over you

without asking directions

Or permission

From anyone