There isn’t a way

To be both known

And invisible

To be seen

And hide the secret stories

In a misspent sacrifice

That protects other people

At the cost

Of being alive at all

Even I don’t like this

Half real mirage me

Conjured in the hopes

Of belonging

In rooms it never will

The living having no use

For haunted things

So It might be time

To come back

Into this body

No matter what it costs

Because I’ve been paying anyway

Astonishing interest rates

Insurmountable debt

To bright demons who promised

Safety for lies

But never delivered

And all those people

Silence was going to hold safe

Have broken anyway

In a million other places

Even still

There were always pieces


But they decay and germinate

Into twisted little things

Asking to be seen

Several seasons too late

Perhaps all that’s missing

Is a change in timing

An invitation that arrives

Before the shadow passes over

Before the outcome is certain

the meaning distilled

To elegy and coffee talk

Sitting through the not knowing

Even if only myself

Comes and rests

In my own truth

Wholly open to

Whatever grows out of

The soil of the only soul

I could ever save

Perhaps that is

All It is

To be known